


I’m Good.  I’m Gone.

by NERV



Series: It Never Goes Out [4]
Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: F/F, NicoMaki, Side Story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 12:52:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13100517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NERV/pseuds/NERV
Summary: Nico decides to mend her wicked ways to show her appreciation for Maki.  Things get weird.





	I’m Good.  I’m Gone.

It was obviously a dream. 

 

In fact, it couldn’t have been more obvious.

 

“Maki-chan’s just _mad_.”  She had such an infuriating, childlike taunt enfolded within her words.

 

“Shut up!”  Maki felt the snap of her own tongue as she lashed out with a very familiar retort.

 

They were in Maki’s room.  Before her strode the ever-flowing wellspring of her ire; a _short_ girl in a white summer dress with silly-looking pigtails held in place by, frankly, unnecessarily elaborate ribbons.  A faint halo of light followed her as she stepped around the room, another superfluous touch considering the stature of the person illuminated.

 

Yeah…  Yeah.  It was her… 

 

 _Here_. 

 

It seemed there wasn’t an inch of Maki, in any dimension or state of consciousness, that she wouldn’t eventually pervade.   

 

Somehow, being self-aware that it was a dream didn’t make it any better.  If anything, it was probably worst.

 

“Nico’s Maki-chan, Nico’s Maki-chan.”  She sing-songed in a private harmony.

 

Yes, of course.  That had been her new little chirpy phrase lately (probably because she got to say her own name).  It was the latest tiny barb that she would use to prick Maki with in front of the others.  She would model this cutesy look while she said it, it was…  Enticing as much as it irritating.

 

_Ugh._

 

“I bet Maki-chan can’t believe that Nico is really a goddess!”

 

Now that was ridiculous.

 

Okay, so at the beginning, when she had slipped into this soon-to-be-nightmare…  Yeah, she would admit it; a blinding light had showered the bay windows of her room, and then she had seen an angelic silhouette descending through the light…

 

…And, yeah, she had said something that _might_ have alluded to what Nico was babbling about, but…  It didn’t really matter; it was just a natural reaction to a surreal moment.

 

Come on, anyone would have thought the same thing, right?

 

And Maki wasn’t even religious.  It was more a cultural thing.  She had seen too many films.  Or something like that.

 

“Nico would have preferred to be referred to as the #1 idol in the universe but Nico knows the depths of Maki-chan’s ador…”

 

“-Oh god, just shut up.”  Was it possible to have a migraine in dream?

 

“God?  So Maki-chan does…”

 

“Stop.  Just stop.”

 

She couldn’t pinch herself fast enough; anything to get out of this.

 

“Maki-chan is being very rude to Nico.  Especially in her special guest appearance.”

 

“This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.”

 

“That’s mean.  Plain mean.”

 

“I already have to see you every day.  Sleep is my last reprieve.”

 

“You can’t get enough of Nico!”

 

“Believe me, I can and have.”

 

“Then why is Nico here?  It’s your dream, Maki-chan.”

 

“That…”  Maki caught herself.

 

Actually, there was clear explanation; over-exposure.  Because she _had to_ put up with Nico every day, it was inevitable that she would creep into her subconscious.  Sneaking in and festering _everywhere_ , like a giant pink glitter bomb gone off.  That was the pain of having Yazawa Nico as your girlfri...  No…  Partner.  Or…  Whatever the most-appropriate, least-cringe inducing term was.

 

“Nico loves Maki.”

 

“No…  Don’t say that.”  Maki felt the room turn around her.  Don’t _use_ that, she nearly said.

 

“She does.  She loves her _so much_.”

 

Nico danced forward, poking out a finger to the tip of Maki’s nose while her face slipped into an overbearing, obnoxious smile.

 

Maki tried to bat her away but Nico swayed away from each blow while remaining in place, like a gloating mirage.

 

“Why won’t you go away!?”  Maki cried.

 

Nico frowned at that, leaning forward to gaze at Maki.

 

“It’s your dream, Maki-chan.  You tell me?  Maybe it’s because you don’t want me to?”

 

“But I do!”

 

Nico’s frown relaxed into a soft pitying smile.  It made Maki wince.

 

“Oh, Maki-chan…  What is Nico going to do with you?”

 

********************

 

She woke up.  It was morning.  A school morning.

 

She got up and set about to getting ready.

 

It was better not to think about it.

 

Her movements lagged.  It was as if she was half a step behind her routine all morning, the clock always ticking a few minutes past where it should have been.

 

The short walk to the car brought the sharp chill of winter to her attention; she lifted her scarf over her nose and held her coat tight to her body.

 

The sun was just rising and Maki couldn’t see any dusting of snow in the air, though there were still patches lining the road, remnants of yesterday’s fall.

 

Her eyes drifted out of the window; she let them settle as Tokyo passed her by in an ever-stretching blur.  They were fast approaching New Year’s; there had been a lull in the air ever since they had found out they were through to Love Live.

 

They were all waiting for something that still felt far-off in the distance, but close enough to be silhouetted and outlined, present for each of them to peer at.  Maki knew it, gazed upon it herself.

 

But there were a more pressing matter for now.  There always was at this point in the morning.

 

Her stomach hardened with anticipation as the car carried her ever-closer to Otonokizaka.  She tried, futilely, not to dwell on the ever-present source of her anxiety.  Especially after her preternatural visit last night.

 

The driver pulled the car up to the school entrance, bringing the vehicle to a gentle stop, lining up Maki’s door to the school gates.  Both he and Maki sat there in an unnatural silence for a few moments.

 

Maki blinked several times.

 

“That’s odd…”  The driver broke the silence.  “Miss Yazawa is usually waiting for you.”

 

Maki found herself looking through every window, every possible blind spot.  A growing sense of unease made her pause.

 

After another minute of waiting, Maki bade the driver farewell and walked through the main gates of Otonokizaka.  There wasn’t too much time before classes began but she headed to the clubroom anyway, a hint of curiosity spurring her on as much as anything.

 

The third years were there, along with Hanayo and Rin.  As Maki entered, she observed Nico, sat up straight with her hands folded over on top of one another on the table before her; the image of a proper young lady.  She turned to regard Maki with a pleasant smile and bright, alert eyes.

 

“Good morning, Maki-chan.”  She offered, a few decibels lower than what was usual, and with a lot less pluck.

 

Something about it made Maki swerve and sit down on the opposite side of the table, next to Eli and Nozomi.

 

“Hey.”  Maki greeted as Eli looked up.  Both she and Nozomi gave a quick glance and smile in response.

 

“Good morning, Maki-chan.”  Nico repeated, as if she hadn’t already said it once.

 

Maki stalled and gulped.  Glancing to one side, she realised that everyone else in the room was suddenly very aware of her presence.

 

“G-good morning.”  Maki mumbled.

 

“You look bright-and-rosy this morning.”  Nico replied immediately.

 

Maki paused from pretending to rummage through her bag.  She looked up.  There wasn’t a hint of mockery in Nico’s eyes.

 

Maybe that was worst.  An oblique kind of warning shot.

 

_Pay her a compliment back._

Ah, but that road, seemingly innocuous as it was, could lead to disaster just as easily.

 

“I was just thinking the same thing.  Very…  _Appealing_.”  Nozomi broke the subsequent silence.

 

Surprisingly, Nico completely ignored her.  Maki caught Eli nudging Nozomi out of the corner of her eye.  She was beginning to suspect that something had been said just before she had entered the room.

 

Thankfully, the one girl you could count to defuse ( _kind of_ ) any situation chose that moment to stride into the room, juggling / trying to eat several loaves of bread all the while.

 

As Honoka passed by behind Nico she tried to wave to the room whilst nearly spilling her breakfast.  The result was her swinging around wildly just behind Nico, and whacking her in the back of the head with her school bag.

 

Nico was on her feet in a flash, further infuriated by the rich, cascading sound of Nozomi’s laughter.

 

“Watch where you’re going, you klutz!”  Nico snapped.

 

Honoka tried to reply, but with her mouth full the resulting sound was more of blurred whine, accompanied by a spray of breadcrumbs that assaulted Nico directly.

 

That set Eli off chuckling.

 

Maki watched in wonder as Nico and Honoka did battle.  The conflict consisted of Nico trying to windmill her way in close for maximum damage to her assailant.  Meanwhile, Honoka was jabbing away with multiple loaves to keep Nico at bay.

 

“Would you two stop messing around!”  A familiar authoritative tone caused Maki to turn away from the conflict.

 

Umi had appeared in the doorway, a frown creasing her features.  Kotori had her arm looped through her girlfriend's, and she looked mildly displeased at the culprits guilty of distracting her companion.

 

Nico and Honoka immediately separated and began pointing at each other.

 

“I don’t want to know.”  Umi cut them off.  She turned to Kotori and shook her head.  “This is what having children will be like.”  She remarked curtly.

 

Kotori’s eyes went wide as her mouth fell agape.

 

“Oh my god, she doesn’t realize what she just said.”  Maki heard Nozomi whisper with barely concealed mirth.

 

Clearly Kotori heard her as well.  She frowned for a moment and then composed herself before following Umi to a pair of free seats.

 

“Realize what?”  Eli queried.

 

“Oh my god.”  Nozomi leaned into Maki.  “Eli doesn’t realize either.”

 

“Shut up.”  Eli whispered.  And then…  “…Oh.  Oh.  S-she didn’t mean it.  It was hypothetical.”

 

“Sure it was.”  Nozomi winked at Maki.

 

The rest of the morning took on a familiar tone.  Umi gave them a briefing on her updated training schedule before they dispersed for classes.  It wasn’t anything Maki hadn’t heard before, she suspected Umi just wanted to something to say to distract from the waiting, or maybe she wanted to keep the girls on their toes.  Probably both.

 

Maki found herself falling into place and she followed Hanayo and Rin towards the first year classes.  A hand found hers, fingers intertwining, and Maki glanced to the side to find Nico smiling at her.  She didn’t say anything and Maki felt a fine point of anxiety pushing home.

 

Normally, it would be moments before she was all over Maki, the bigger the scene she made the better; arms flailing around as she tried to latch on while spewing wildly inappropriate terms of endearment meant to turn Maki a familiar shade of crimson in front of her peers.  And that was before they arrived at Nico’s ever-flowing barrage of self-aggrandizement.

 

But still there was nothing.  Maki glanced at Nico again; she got a well-practised wink for her troubles.

 

When they got to Maki’s class, Nico detached herself from Maki without any kind of commotion and stepped away.  She paused, turning back to wave before striking one of her many poses; this time batting her lashes and giving Maki (one of) her cutest smile.

 

Maki half-waved and mumbled a goodbye before following Hanayo into the classroom.  As she did, Hanayo glanced back at her with an expression caught between bewilderment and concern; it was good to know she wasn’t the only one to notice something amiss.

 

********************

 

Maki didn’t see Nico again until lunchtime.  She was waiting outside of Maki’s class (somehow) and managed to whisk her away from the others without really doing or saying anything of the sort; one of the many mysterious talents that Nico possessed when she deemed subtlety an option.

 

Maki found herself strolling around the school grounds with Nico.  It was odd, firstly because Nico hated the cold (and this was the middle of winter), and secondly because Nico was still acting really fucking weird (read: subdued).

 

“What…  What’s going on?”  Maki asked eventually.

 

Nico turned to look at her, a façade of puzzlement framing those delicate features.

 

Maki stopped and, for a lack of articulation, pointed at Nico.

 

Nico stopped in turn and winced, as if Maki had actually poked her.  She took a step back, eyes wide as she threw her arms into the air.

 

“No, don’t do that.”  Maki knew from experience that you had to cut off Nico’s theatrics before they spiralled out of control and distracted you from whatever your original point was.

 

“You’re acting weird.  Why are you acting weird?”  Maki pursued her target.

 

“Maki-chan…  _Maki-chan!_ ”  She began to wail.

 

“-Stop that.  I know you’re up to something.”

 

“Nico just wants to show her appreciation for her Maki-chan.  That’s all.”  The switch from her amateur dramatics was immediate; instead she spoke with a sing-song chirpiness.

 

“Why?”  Maki went on cautiously.

“Because Maki-chan’s been so sweet to Nico.  Very consoling when Nico had that one dark spot.”  She seemed to withdraw as she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper as she finished.

 

Nico looked down for a moment and then back up at Maki, who regarded her with some scrutiny; you could never be too careful of falling into a Yazawa pitfall…

 

Still, as she stared into Nico’s eyes, Maki remembered finding her passed out before the final round of preliminaries.  The apprehension she had felt all day vanished as concern swamped her, clouding her every action and thought.  She had tried her best to remain calm, for the sake of trying to soothe Nico, who had suffered from a rare bout of stage-fright.  Somehow, they had managed to get through it together.

 

“Okay…”  Maki couldn’t see any of the tell-tale signs that Nico leading her up the primrose path.   “…So what’s going’s on?”

 

Nico smiled and took a step closer to Maki, taking her hand in hers.  Her thumb ran over Maki’s knuckles, back and forth; a pleasant sensation.

 

“Nico knows that Maki-chan is super shy-and-cute, and she gets all flustered when Nico declares her love for her in front of everyone, so Nico thought Maki-chan might like it if Nico toned it down.”

 

_Tone it down._

Jesus Christ.  Maki actually felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

 

Nico.  Toning it down.

_What the hell is happening?_

 

Okay, so maybe Maki wasn’t the biggest fan of public displays of affection.  And maybe she was (occasionally) purposively naïve about pretending _everyone_ didn’t already know they were a couple.  But still…

 

“…Okay…”  Maki managed after a few moments.

 

Nico kept their gazes locked.  She didn’t say anything else, just kept smiling.

 

Maki honestly wasn’t quite sure of what to do or say.

 

“I guess…  That’s very…  Considerate of you.”

Nico shrugged.

 

Shrugged.

 

Yazawa Nico _shrugged_ off a compliment.

 

Maki felt light-headed.

 

********************

 

It was the same for the rest of the day.

 

It should have been a good thing.

 

It _was_ a good thing.

 

But Maki couldn’t quite wrap her head around what was apparently happening.

 

When classes ended for the day there was no meeting at the clubroom that evening.  Instead, Nico walked Maki to the front gates and kissed her once on the cheek before saying goodbye.

 

Maki stumbled into the car and looked back, as if expecting Nico to be right there behind the glass instead of walking away with a small wave and a backwards glance.

 

“Ah, so Miss Yazawa was present after all.”  The driver noted.

 

“Yes.  She was.”  Maki replied.

 

“A good day?”  The driver asked as they began to pull away from the school.

 

“I think so.”  She answered, though the rising inflection of Maki’s voice seemed to veer towards a question rather than an answer.

 

***********************

 

Another dream.

 

Maki was in a library; vast and ornate, untold volumes of writing lined every wall.  She knew she could spend her whole life here and only read a fraction of what was on offer.  But it wasn’t the quantity that mattered, instead she wandered the aisles in search of a tome so elusive it hung on the edge of her mind, undefined but important.

 

She heard a sound; a series of faint notes.  So familiar, but the name escaped her.  She knew the origin of the sound though; her mother’s piano.  Much like those rare nights of childhood, when she would hear her mother play from the other wing of the house, the sound carried a haunting incandescence that gently fizzed around her ears.

 

She began to follow the sound, desperate to get closer.

 

Books began to tumble from the shelves, slowing her progress.  She pushed on, brushing them aside.

 

More and more fell until it was nearly an avalanche. 

 

After a few minutes she was practically wading through them towards the dying notes.  Struggling, she looked down and saw open pages, diagrams of dissections of the human body.  The facts and biological knowledge that had been ground into her from an early age, recitals on the respiratory system drowned out the music she had forever longed to hear as a child.

 

She fell down.  A sense of nausea was bearing down as she began to drown in the sea of books.  She was caught up in the ebb and flow, with pages flicking and whisking all around as she sank.

 

She wanted to cry out but wouldn’t, a rigid sense of dignity stopped her.  She would take it and survive.

 

_…Probably._

 

There was a flash, a blinding light that centered upon the crest of an on-coming tidal wave of leather-bound volumes.

 

She braced herself and then…  Nothing.

 

She looked up.  The wave had frozen, pages teetering above her.

 

“Maki Maki-Ma…”

 

Even in the midst of whatever this was Maki found her teeth beginning to grind as that ever-assaulting tweet echoed in her ear.

 

“What?  What do you want?”  Maki snapped.

 

“Your goddess and #1 super idol is here!”  Nico threw her arms up.

 

Maki stared up at her.  Nico was sitting on the crest of the frozen wave, legs dangling over the side.

 

“I like how you have to make both definitions.”  Maki shot back.

 

“What?”

 

“You can’t just be one or the other.”

 

“Of course not!  Nico is always your #1 idol.  But, as Maki-chan pointed out, I’m a goddess as well.” 

 

“I didn’t say that!”

 

“Didn’t you, Maki-chan?  Didn’t you?”  Nico gave her a pitying look.

 

Maki could feel her temper bubble from smoldering to outright eruption within moments.  She grabbed a book and threw it Nico.  It missed.  Nico looked aghast.  She began waggling her finger, which further enraged Maki.  She launched another book at Nico.

 

“It wasn’t so long ago that Maki was treating Nico like the princess she is.  Maybe you just wanted Nico’s body?”

 

“Shut up!”

 

“You were much politer when you were trying to undress Nico.  And much gentler when you…”

 

Maki screamed. 

 

 _“Every day_ _!_ You bring that up every day!  It was one night, Nico!  _One night_ _!”_

Nico howled with laughter.  Maki couldn’t find her mark but she kept flinging books at her.

 

When she finally paused for breath she realized that she had dug her way out of the flood of books.

 

“There.  You’re welcome.”  Nico smiled and closed her eyes, tilting her head back in a gross show of self-congratulation.

 

“You didn’t mean to do that.”  Maki wasn’t quite sure, but she stayed on the offensive; a familiar and comforting tactic.

 

“Cruel.  So cruel to your goddess…”

 

Maki was about to retort but, out of habit, paused for a moment in resignation.

 

“…And your #1 idol.  Super idol.”

 

“At least you’re less irritating since you’ve _toned down_.”

 

Nico frowned at that, her smugness evaporating at such a speed that made Maki almost regret her retort.

 

“I’m not sure I like that Nico too much.”  She said, looking away from Maki.

 

Something in her voice made Maki look away as well. 

 

When she looked back, Nico was gone.  Just a cascade of books remained, their decent resumed.

 

Maki threw her hands up and screamed.

 

*********************

 

When she arrived at Otonokizaka the next day, Maki found Nico waiting for her at the front gates.  Usually when the car pulled up Nico would be waiting, ready to open the car door and usher her out.  Today, she waited patiently by the gates, hands stuffed in the pockets of her oversized winter coat and eyes watching the sky.

 

Maki swore she heard a grumble of discontent from the driver as she said goodbye, as if Nico’s sudden shift from her usual hyperactive routine bothered him as well.  _All is not right_ , he seemed to say as Maki waved him off.

 

She strolled over to Nico with a slight hesitancy; almost caution, as if it were a trap.

 

“Good morning.”  She offered in hopes of catching Nico's attention.

 

Nico’s eyes fell from the overcast sky to meet Maki’s.  She smiled gently, almost shyly, and nodded in acknowledgement.

 

Despite her unease, Maki could feel herself beginning to swoon; she hoped it didn’t show.  There was a simple charm to this side of Nico.  She was…

 

_…Adorable._

 

Maki smiled.  She leaned in and quickly kissed Nico on the cheek.  She liked the brief flash of surprise she saw as she pulled back.

 

“Good morning, Maki-chan.”  She smiled again and offered her hand.

 

Together, they walked through the school gates, holding hands between the folds of their winter coats.

 

********************

 

It wasn’t as though Nico had flipped a switch; she was still recognizable as the same person. 

 

At lunchtime Maki watched her go swinging for Nozomi after some supposedly innocuous comment irked her.  And she was just as abrasive as you would expect with her feedback when Eli and Honoka suggested a new song idea (“Why don’t you leave the thinking to the professionals?”).

 

She just seemed very considerate of Maki or, to observe, that her proximity to the redhead dictated some kind of calming aura.

 

The quieter, gentler Nico appealed to Maki.  She liked the little touches, the whispers and the subtlety; it seemed more befitting of the image of _Nishikino Maki’s partner_.

 

It was all very _nice_ and _appropriate_.

 

But as the week wore on Maki couldn’t quite deny the sense that something was off…  Or, to be more precise, that a piece of her days were missing; a jumble of reactions and moments that had been silently erased. 

 

For the last few months she had walked the corridors and hallways of Otonokizaka in apprehension, waiting for inevitable the Nico-shaped impact to bombard her, grabbing for her arm, jabbing a sly kiss and crowing her arrival to everyone within a five-mile radius. 

 

Now that moment never arrived.  Instead it was all more reserved.

 

And that wasn’t a bad thing, Maki reasoned.  Not having _everyone_ stare at her every time Nico decided to jump her was a welcome absence.

 

The constant jibes and barbs designed to get under her skin, she didn’t miss those either.

 

So what was that missing piece, that problem lingering in the back of her mind?

 

There wasn’t one, Maki concluded.  Nico was maturing and this was simply the next step in their relationship, and it was a very pleasant one.

 

Everything was fine.

 

So there.

 

***********************

 

Maki visited the library after school to study for an hour before her lift home arrived.  She ran into Kotori as she browsed between the shelves, looking for a particular English textbook.

 

“Maki Maki-Ma.”  Kotori chuckled softly to herself, glancing up from the book she had been reading.

 

Maki rolled her eyes but remembered to smile.  Her search led her to a near-by shelf and she became uncomfortably aware of the silence as she sifted through book-spines.  She snuck a glance at Kotori, who was flicking through a book, seemingly at ease.

 

These kinds of happen-by-chance social interactions with the girls were not one of Maki’s strong points.  In the clubroom or at the shrine they had a purpose for being together; there was a group dynamic that Maki could understand.  Here, she wasn’t so sure.  It wasn’t as if she found Kotori bothersome or irritating; far from it.  But she wasn’t a good judge of how to act and had too little experience to fall back on.  She had been through so much with everyone, and yet, in an odd way that made it even more difficult; just an odd comment or the wrong choice of words…

 

…The more she dwelled on it, the heavier the seconds felt as they passed by where she failed to say anything.  She began to wish that Nico was here; she had a way with people, she always found a way of drawing Maki in, easing her into the conversation…

 

“Where’s Umi?”  Maki asked, wishing she could have bitten her tongue.

 

Kotori glanced across at her and smiled.

 

“Oh, she’s around, I imagine.”

 

Lately, Kotori always seemed to be laughing or smiling, Maki had noted.  She had the effect of lightening the mood anywhere she went.

 

“You can never be too sure these days.”  Kotori raised an eyebrow and laughed again.  “On the other hand…  There’s always a student council matter that _demands_ her attention.  You’ve seen how she gets.  Remember the stationary incident?”  Kotori shook her head and sighed, as if re-living the drama.

 

“Supplies were running _dangerously_ low.”  Maki found herself laughing as she recalled that particular Sonoda milestone.

 

“…Ugh…”  Kotori put her face in her hands.  “It’s good that she’s passionate, just…”  She looked up and smiled as Maki continued to chuckle. 

 

“…Well, she’ll turn up eventually.”  Kotori shrugged, as if it were something inevitable.  “By the way, what are you looking for?”

 

When Maki told her, she picked the textbook out immediately, plucking it from a shelf that Maki had already skimmed through.  The conversation turned towards the English exam waiting for Maki next week.  She ended up scanning through the textbook with Kotori there and then, as the older girl noted a few pertinent pages and ran through a few concepts.  Maki was reminded how focused and concise Kotori could be despite her easy-going nature.

 

After twenty minutes or so, they were interrupted by the previously discussed Umi.

 

She actually snuck up behind Kotori, quietly stepping down the aisle between the shelves and motioning for Maki to stay silent.  When she was close enough she grabbed Kotori’s hand and kissed her on the cheek, drawing a loud squeak out of her girlfriend.

 

“Umi-chan…”

 

Something about the way she said her name, it snagged on Maki, a feeling but not quite a thought.

 

Kotori returned the kiss before turning back to Maki.

 

“I told you.  You can never be too sure now.”  She giggled.

 

“Nico is here.”  Umi noted.

 

“R-really?”  That caught Maki off-guard.

 

“She’s using one of the study desks.”

 

That was curious…  Why hadn’t she come and found them?  She must have known Maki was here.  It was a regular occurrence to have Nico pop up on her just as she taking a book down from the shelf.

 

It appeared that the news also struck Kotori as odd.  She eyed Maki, a slight frown touching her lips.

 

“Has Nico been okay?  She’s seemed a little off for the last week.”

 

“She’s fine.”  Maki replied, really in place of any clarity to offer.

 

“I think she’s been acting a bit more like a proper Senpai lately.”  Umi offered.

 

Both Kotori and Maki turned to her, a simultaneous look of concern colouring their features.

 

“What?”  Umi looked at them both, her eyes widening slightly.

 

“Why‘s that?”  Kotori asked cautiously.

 

“Well…  I just meant…  She isn’t as…  Loud.”

 

Maki shuddered.   

 

_I’m not sure I like that Nico too much._

 

If even Umi noticed…  And she thought it was a _good_ thing…

 

Maki was snapped back to the moment by the sound of Kotori clearing her throat.  She blinked and found both of her friends staring at her, Kotori in faint concern while Umi was the picture of confusion.

 

“I…  I don’t understand…”  Umi mumbled.

 

“It’s…”  Maki shook her head and forced herself to laugh.  “It’s just Nico-chan.  You know what she’s like, a different mood every minute.”

 

It certainly didn’t feel convincing as she said it, but Kotori and Umi seemed to relax. 

 

“I’d better go check on her.”  Maki saw her opportunity to duck out and took it.

 

Maki found Nico idling at one of the desks, a book laid open in front of her but her phone was on top of it, the web browser open on some gossip forum.  She looked up and smiled with a sickly sweet grin as Maki approached.

 

“Maki’s so smart.”

 

“…Yeah…”  Maki couldn’t think of anything else to say.

 

They stayed in place for a few moments, Nico observing Maki, and Maki feeling very aware of her gaze.

 

“Very clever.  Studious.”  Nico murmured.

 

“Okay…”  Maki said suddenly.  “…Nico-chan, are you…  Okay?”

 

“Better now you’re here.  Nico was waiting.”

 

“Stop.  Nico…  What…”  Maki struggled to organize her thoughts, to put them into words.

 

Had Nico even done anything wrong?  Was this anything beyond someone making an effort to please someone else?

 

As she tried to mentally compose herself, Maki noticed that Nico was watching her curiously.

 

“I’ve…  Just had a long day.  Let’s go, Nico-chan.”

 

Nico gave an odd, subdued sort of cheer as she jumped out of her chair.  Excited, but as if she had suddenly realized she might be disturbing someone.

 

************************

 

Maki hadn’t spent as much time as she had intended in the library, so they strolled around the school grounds for a while before Maki’s lift arrived.

 

They didn’t say much but Maki found the silence comfortable.  She didn’t really want it to end; she had the bizarre idea of sneaking this version of Nico home, easier to conceal without all of the fireworks.

 

When the time came to see her off, Nico once again did it without any drama; a quick kiss and a hug.  Then she was gone and Maki was in the car, pulling away.

 

She was on auto-pilot as the driver made small talk, asking about her day; a terrible realization had struck her…

 

Not once in the last three days…  She hadn’t heard Nico brag…  Not a word of self-praise and barely a hint of pomposity.

 

No #1 super idol in the universe.

 

_Oh god…_

 

Maki gasped.

 

Not the catchphrase, nor the pose.

 

Nothing.

 

********************

 

She was in her mother’s study.

 

Sunlight was streaming through the windows; so bright it was almost a pure white.  It stung Maki’s eyes to look into it.

 

She sat at the piano.  Her fingers drifted back and forth, hovering over the keys.

 

The sheer curtains danced in the breeze, floating up into her eye-line before softly falling back to the floor.

 

There was no sound.

 

The silence grew more oppressive the longer it was draped over the room. 

 

Maki couldn’t break it.  Her fingers were millimeters from the keys but a fear gnawed at her; she couldn’t play, couldn’t remember the notes, their order and tempo; a twisted, deep and dark spiral that descended into the recess of her mind.

 

She was afraid.

 

The curtains flared and she looked up into the bright, blinding light.  A familiar figure came through the open French doors.  Maki watched her step inside, pause and glance around the room.  She saw Maki and smiled.  She was wearing the same white summer dress she always wore in Maki’s dreams; her hair was down this time though.

 

Maki looked back down at the keys and then to one side.  Nico was there, sitting next to her on the piano bench.

 

“Could you play me a song, please?”  Her voice was a gentle whisper.  No pressure, just a simple request.

 

Maki looked back down at the keys and tried, _really tried_ to remember.

 

“I’m not sure.”  Maki replied.  She still hadn’t touched the piano, her fingers felt too clumsy.

 

“Take your time, I’m a patient girl.”

 

Maki heard the words, replayed them in her head…  She looked up.

 

“No… No, you’re not.”

 

Nico’s lips curved into a wicked smile.  Her eyes twinkled with barely concealed mischief.

 

“I don’t understand.”  Maki forced herself to meet Nico’s gaze.  “I don’t get you.”

 

“Nico’s not so mysterious.”

 

Her voice teased the tips of Maki’s ear, as if she were whispering right into them.

 

“But maybe Nico’s not so good at…  Being honest…”

 

“You’re telling me.”  Maki replied on reflex.

 

Nico smiled again.

 

“You’re hardly one to talk, Maki-chan.”  She laughed.

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Nico’s Maki-chan is _so_ cute when she’s angry.”

 

“Why can’t you leave me alone?  Why are you always…”

 

“Well, that’s pretty obvious.”

 

It came in an instant.  Maki felt her blood boil.

 

“Really!?  Really?  Well then, tell me!  Tell _your Maki-chan_ why it’s so obvious.”  She snarled.

 

“Maki really wants to know?”  Nico put a finger underneath her chin, as though she were seriously pondering the question.

 

“ _Yes_.”  Maki practically spat the word.

 

Nico open her mouth to reply but there was no sound…  Not at first, then…

 

The piano.  Nico’s lips were moving but the sound…  The keys, the notes, everything she had forgotten; it all came back at once.  She slammed her hands down on the piano.

 

 _The sound!_   It was like the first breath of air after sitting at the bottom of the ocean.

 

She started to play.  Song after song.  Note after note.  Anything and everything she wanted to hear.

 

She looked up.  Nico was smiling at her, just the same as when she walked into the room.

 

Somewhere inside it clicked.   

 

***********************

 

For the next week nothing changed.  They were all counting days the days until the Christmas break.

 

Maki was sure the others noticed the change in Nico, but perhaps with everyone seemingly locked into their reflections as the end of the year approached it went by without intervention.

 

Of course, they had all changed to some degree, the approach of a new year brought that into light for all of the girls, Maki included.

 

Besides, Maki pondered, it was difficult to get concerned about Nico basically being less annoying on a daily basis.  That was the crux of Maki’s own problem, after all.

 

And it wasn’t a _problem_ with Nico.  She was…

 

Sometimes Maki found herself getting caught up in Nico.  She could be so charming, she could unburden you.  And she genuinely made Maki feel like she was the most interesting, beautiful person on the planet.  The kind of praise and accolades she bestowed should have been cringe-worthy, but she had this way of slipping things in innocuously, as if she was just pointing out something obvious.  The worst was when Nico _really_ wanted to butter her up, then she started out subtle and eloquent before gradually enfolding Maki within the narrative of her admiration.  She’d had Maki blushing and gushing more times than she cared to admit. It was all so overwhelmingly saccharine, but strangely addictive.

 

“Nico likes Maki-chan’s hair today.”

 

Maki blinked as she felt Nico blow, her breath ruffling her hair over her eyes.

 

“S-stop that.”  Maki whispered without any really force, because had Maki mentioned how pathetic she had become in the last few days?

 

Nico batted her lashes and gave elaborate childish giggle.

 

Maki looked down at the table, aware that her cheeks were beginning to burn.

 

“ _Awwwwwwwww…_ ”  Nozomi cooed from the across the room.

 

Maki looked up, expecting to see a grimace twisting Nico’s lips.  At the very least, she could always count on Nozomi to flip Nico back to normal service.

 

Instead, Nico turned to glance at Nozomi with terrifyingly-wide smile.  She didn’t say anything, she just _smiled_.

 

Maki saw Nozomi look, for perhaps the first time ever, unsure of what to say or do.

 

“Nico hopes you can be as happy as her one day.”  She chirped after drawing out the silence.

 

Maki glanced around to find the rest of girls staring (Rin and Honoka) or pretending not to stare (everyone else) at the exchange.

 

“Yeah…”  Nozomi murmured, eyeing Maki for a moment before turning back to Eli.

 

Maki was relieved to hear the general murmur of chatter resume around the room as Nico turned back to her, a little smirk painted across her lips.

 

“Did Nico tell Maki-chan how pretty she looks this morning?”

 

“Uh…  Yeah…”  Maki mumbled.

 

“Good.”  Nico affirmed.  “It’s important to Nico that Maki-chan’s know she’s the prettiest girl in the world.”

 

Maki almost choked.

 

_In the world._

 

She forced herself to take a deep breath.  This was going too far.

 

“…In…  In the world?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“B-but…  What about…?”

 

“What about?  About who?”

 

“You know.  My…  I mean, the #1…  Idol…  In the universe.”  Maki couldn’t quite believe what she was saying; the words just seemed to tumble from her lips.

 

For a moment, just a moment, the old Nico was there; a devious smile underlining wickedly sly eyes.  It caused such a stir in Maki that she suddenly began to wonder if this really had all been something Nico had contrived to lead her to this moment.

 

But the mask slipped off just as quickly as it had fallen into place.  The smile was just sweet.

 

“Nico doesn’t know what Maki-chan is talking about.  Maybe she’s just too modest.  Maybe that’s what makes her so cute.”  She was all giggles again.

 

Maki knew she was blushing. 

 

A stern voice from the back of her head reminded her that she should have felt like vomiting.

 

This was going to get worse before it got better.

 

**********************

 

Another week of Neo-Nico brought Maki to the last few days of term.  She tended to spend each day suspended between paranoia and being love-struck, occasionally waking up in-between to vainly wonder how she had got to this point.

 

Such a time came at midday, as she sat at the piano in the music room, slowly working her fingers up and down the keys; letting each chord ring out around the room before moving onto the next.

 

There had been another effect from Nico-fallout that had manifested itself gradually.

 

Maki hadn’t written a piece of music in two weeks, even a simple riff or melody.  She seemed to spend her time writing dazed by simple sounds.  It was a gnawing concern; she had gone from her most prolific to totally burnt out.

 

It might have seemed too soon to worry and there was a multitude of reason why she probably didn’t feel up to it, but Maki knew something was wrong, misplaced within her.  The music made no sense to her.

 

Her chords drew a visitor as they reverberated around the room, though Maki didn’t notice her for at least a minute or two, judging by the curious look that adorned Eli’s face.

 

“Okay?”  She asked.

 

Maki nodded, looking down at the piano, annoyed at her absentmindedness.

 

“I heard you playing.  Just thought I’d stop by.”  She explained.

 

“ _Playing_ …”  Maki shrugged and shook her head.  “That’s too generous.”

 

Eli only smiled and shrugged.  She took a seat and stretched, leaning back in the chair to look up at the ceiling.

 

“Everyone has their quiet moments.”  She offered after a few moments.

 

Maki found herself nodding as she stared down at the keys.

 

“No Nico?”  Eli asked.

 

“No Nico.”  Maki confirmed.

 

She wasn’t sure where Nico was.  That struck her as peculiar.

 

“She’s been extra crazy lately.”  Eli commented.

 

Maki glanced at her.  Eli was still staring at the ceiling.

 

“What do you mean?  I thought…  I mean, she’s been quiet.”

 

“Which _is_ crazy for Nico.”  Eli concluded.

 

When it was put so bluntly, Maki really didn’t have an argument against it.

 

“But…”  She didn’t know why she was trying.  Eli was right.  “…I think she’s just tired.  We all are.”

 

Eli started to laugh.

 

“Nico?  _Tired?”_   She looked back down, meeting Maki’s gaze with an amused smile.

 

Maki tried to find something to say, anything to argue against something so blatant.  It wasn’t so simple, it was…

 

There was nothing.  No words.

 

All of a sudden she started to laugh.

 

She laughed right along with Eli.

 

They made each other laugh harder.

 

“She’s crazy.  _Crazy_.”  Maki found herself repeating between burst of laughter.  Eli nodded, racked with laughter.

 

“So are you.”  Eli said after they had both calmed down.

 

“What?”

 

“You must be.  It’s the only way you’ll survive.”

 

Eli took a deep breath, still trying to compose herself.

 

“Nico’s like a hurricane.  If you try to stand still you’ll just get sucked up and thrown away.  You know what I mean?”

 

Maki was about to reply when she hesitated.

 

_Like a hurricane._

 

Somewhere in her subconscious Dream-Nico was nodding along, a condescending smile plastered across her lips.

 

Maki chuckled.

 

Of course.

 

Of course.

 

***********************

 

It was a dream.  She was aware of not wanting to wake up too soon.

 

She was chasing Nico through a maze.  She only ever caught a glimpse of her, a dipped shoulder as she scurried around a corner or the flare of her summer dress as it swished out behind her.

 

But Maki knew it was her, knew it beyond what she saw.

 

“Nico-chan!”  She called out.  “You can’t run all day!”

 

It was unlike her to be so boisterous, but she couldn’t help it.  She was having too much fun.  And there was so much to look forward to.  

 

She heard children laughing and calling out to her from up-ahead. 

 

She passed a cross-section of hedges and saw Cocoro, Cocoa and Cotaro run across her path, pointing after Nico and cheering her on.

 

She was gaining after a few more twists and turns; she could hear Nico gasping for breath as she tried to evade Maki, now barely two steps behind her.

 

As they sped around another corner, Maki leapt and threw out her arms.  She connected with Nico and dragged her to the floor.  She scrambled to get on top as the smaller girl turned over.  Maki pinned her arms down and smiled in triumph.

 

“I told you!  I told you I was going to catch you.”  Maki was shouting, laughing and gasping for breath all at once.

 

Nico laid underneath her, an oddly unaffected expression clouded her features, only broken by a faint smile playing across her lips.

 

“Maki really _wants_ Nico.”  She whispered.

 

“Of course.”  Maki shot back, unwilling to be intimidated or to have her triumph diminished.  “This is what I want.  You.”

 

“That makes Nico so happy.  To be adored by her #1 fan…  It’s all she wants.”  Nico closed her eyes, her face radiating delight.

 

Maki leaned down and kissed her on the lips.

 

Nico opened her eyes to look at her.

 

“I love you.”  Maki told her.

 

Nico smiled and kissed her back.

 

“Tell me that the next time I see you.  I’ll be so happy.”

 

*************************

 

The car ride to school took an eternity.  Maki felt like a coiled spring.

 

Perhaps sensing the tension in his young charge, the driver forwent any small-talk.

 

There was no Nico at the gates.  She was there most of the time but not every day.

 

Maki made her way to the clubroom.  She was the last to arrive.  She was welcomed and greeted everyone in turn as she took her seat next to Nico.

 

“Good morning, Maki-chan.”

 

“Good morning.”  Maki fixed her with a stare, her voice deep and firm.

 

Nico seemed to recoil slightly

 

“…Good morning.”  She repeated in a whisper, as if for a lack of anything else to say.

 

“I’ve been thinking about you.”  Maki kept her voice low.

 

Nico didn’t reply, she just nodded. 

 

Maki watched her closely, the murmur of morning conversation drifting around her until the bell interrupted her private reverie. 

 

She needed to find the words.  She needed to do this.

 

Nico got up swiftly and made to exit the room before anyone else.  Maki got to her feet and followed.

 

As she came out into the corridor, Nico hesitated and turned back to her.

 

“You look beautiful today.”  Maki said, alarmingly aware of how blunt she sounded, while desperately trying to fight her own impending embarrassment.

 

Nico nodded again, seemingly unsure of herself.  “So do you.”  She mumbled.

 

Maki took a step towards her.

 

“Really beautiful.”  She forced the words out.

 

“…Yeah.”  Nico mumbled again.

 

Maki hesitated.  She…  She just didn’t…  Couldn’t find it.

 

_I’m not sure I like that Nico too much._

 

Maki took a deep breath.

 

_Oh god._

 

Maki grabbed her by the shoulders.

 

_This is it._

 

Maki looked her in the eye.

 

_This is what she does every day.  What she used to do._

 

“I love you, Nico-chan.”

 

For a moment nothing happened.  Nico didn’t react.

 

“I love you, Nico-chan!”  Maki shouted, her voice echoing all around the corridor.

 

All of a sudden Nico was bawling, she didn’t tear up; she just went from zero to one hundred mph in true Yazawa fashion.  She collided with Maki, wrapping her arms around her and pushing her face into Maki’s chest.

 

“N-Nico…”  Maki found herself sliding over the edge of panic. 

 

Her arms were pinned to her sides beneath Nico’s, but despite limited movement, Maki could see that more than a few curious students had paused in the early-morning rush to gaze upon them.  Looking over her shoulder, she found a similar audience pausing at the curious scene unfolding before them.

 

“Of course Nico knew.  Of course!”  She howled into Maki’s chest.

 

“Hey!”  Maki snapped as she turned back.

 

Honoka had suddenly appeared.  She had her phone out and was filming the whole thing.

 

“Turn that off!  Now!”  Maki shouted.

 

“Nico-chan made me promise I’d record this if it ever happened.”  Honoka didn’t take her eyes off her phone.

 

“Nico knew her #1 fan worshipped Nico’s footsteps.”

 

“Wow.”  Nozomi was the next to step out of the clubroom.

 

“Go back inside.”  Maki practically screamed, her throat beginning to burn.

 

“Eli, you need to see this.”  Unfazed, Nozomi called back inside the clubroom.

 

“No!”  Maki desperately tried to free herself from Nico’s vice-like grip.

 

“Nico just can’t believe she heard it here, in front of everyone!”

 

“Oh…  Whoa!”  Eli stepped out and froze as she saw them.

 

“Nico loves Maki so much, but…”

 

“Nico, get off me!”  Maki twisted and turned to no avail.

 

“I won’t ever forget this…”  Nico sobbed.

 

“Don’t worry, Nico-chan.  I’m getting everything.”  Honoka affirmed.

 

“I’m going to shove that phone down your throat!”  Maki tried to lunge at her but barely moved a pace with Nico weighing her down.

 

“That’s not very romantic.”  Nozomi commented, her face now tinged red as she chuckled.

 

“Oh my…”  Hanayo recoiled as she came out of the room.

 

“Wow!  Maki’s gone crazy!”  Rin bounced out behind her.

 

“ _Crazy!?_   I’ll show you crazy!”  Maki screamed, aware she was doing her cause no favors as she tried to lunge at Rin.

 

“Nico’s never going to let you go.  _Never!”_

 

Hanayo turned away, sniffling back a tear.  “I’m so happy for you, Nico…”  She murmured.

 

“What on earth is going on!?”  Umi marched out of the clubroom with Kotori in close pursuit.

 

She stopped dead in her tracks as the scene came into view.

 

“Oh…  Oh, really?  Here?”  Umi groaned and rolled her eyes.  “…So unseemly…”

 

Kotori started to giggle, throwing her arms around Umi’s shoulders.

 

“That’s what you were like a few weeks ago.”  She teased.

 

“I was not!”  Umi snapped back, which only served to fuel Kotori’s giggling.

 

“Maki loves Nico!  Maki loves Nico!”  Nico began to sing in a pathetic, slightly hoarse voice between her never-ending torrent of tears.

 

“I didn’t say that!”  Maki screamed, still self-aware enough to know that she was sinking fast.

 

“Maki _loves_ Nico!”  Nico wailed in defiance.

 

“It’s on film.”  Honoka confirmed, earning herself another poisonous glare from Maki.

 

“I-I didn’t mean it like that…”  Maki could feel her strength fading as her anger turned to blind desperation.

 

“Oh!  Maki-chan is so shy, that’s why Nico loves her!”

 

“It’s just like a fairytale.”  Nozomi was rubbing her eyes, tears of a different kind appearing.

 

“Umi!  Eli!  Get her off of me!”  Maki cried out her last resort.

 

“No way.”  Eli side-stepped the request.

 

Umi sighed.  “N-no…  I don’t want to get in…  Involved in whatever this is.”

 

“No one can take Nico’s Maki-chan away from Nico.  Because Maki-chan loves Nico!”

 

“We’re…  We’re blocking the corridor.  Disrupting the school!”  It was Maki’s last throw of the dice.

 

Umi frowned.  And then, before Kotori could stop her, she strode forward into the fray.

 

Just a second too late, as Umi grabbed both her and Nico and started to pull them apart, Maki saw Nozomi whisper something to Rin.

 

“No!”  She screamed as she saw Rin turn to her, eyes wide with a playful smile on her lips.

 

“W-what?”  Umi tried to turn back but was too late.

 

“Nyaaaaa!”  Rin collided with all three of them, grabbing onto Umi and Maki, forcing an impromptu group hug.

 

“Get off!”  Umi screamed, at least partially deafening Maki. 

 

“Umi!  Don’t worry, I’m coming!”  Maki heard her voice just a second before Nozomi slammed into them.

 

“Nooooooooo!” 

 

She heard Umi scream again as she was pushed back against the wall, the five of them clinging together like a compressed human chain.

 

During the chaos that ensued she found herself looking down into red-rimmed crimson eyes.

 

“You’re the worst.”

 

“But Maki loves Nico.”

 

“A despicable troublemaker.  Even when you’re not trying.”

 

“Maki is Nico’s #1 fan.”

 

“This is it.  This is going to be every day from now on.”

 

Nico smiled and nodded.

 

“Nico…  _Nico-Ni_.”  Maki felt the words slip off her tongue, from distaste to an undeniable kind of joy.

 

“Maki-chan’s Nico.”

 

Maki felt her lips give way to a smile, knew she had no chance of hiding it.

 

“Promise me you’ll never change.”

 

“That’s a Nico-Ni guarantee.”  She winked.

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while. Just a fun little story to shake off the writing cobwebs.
> 
> Thanks for reading.
> 
> Update: Apologies for any general or formatting errors. I wrote this on my laptop across about three word processors and had a bit of nightmare getting it on here in one piece. I'll be tinkering with it for next few days but I think I've fixed everything now (including that piece of text that went missing from another section that suddenly appeared in the last dream sequence - thanks Microsoft Word 2010!).


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